


An Angle for the Ages

by voidify



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: (within the plot of the wrestling angle), Alternate Universe - Wrestling, Crack, Enemies to Lovers, Humour, M/M, POV Outsider, Treat, Valjean wrestles shirtless and has a thirst fandom, an epistolary format for the modern age, for the sake of a consistent tone I have decided that there is no homophobia in paris wrestling, gratuitous alliteration most of which probably does not work in french, gratuitous exclamation marks, in which the article writers who narrate this fic all reside, prepare to see the plot of Les Mis bastardised and converted into Wrestling Logic, the inherent homoeroticism of pro wrestling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26790280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidify/pseuds/voidify
Summary: Selected excerpts from Paris professional wrestling magazine Le Lutteur, detailing the development of the feud-turned-team-up between nemeses-turned-lovers Jean-le-Cric (aka Madeleine) (aka Gardener) and Arm of the Law.
Relationships: Background Cosette/Eponine, Javert/Jean Valjean
Comments: 10
Kudos: 26
Collections: Sewerchat Anniversary Exchange 2020





	1. Preludes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tvheit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvheit/gifts).



> I’ll add notes about this fic’s history after author reveals! Anyone who's been keeping up with the sewers knows exactly who I am because I haven't kept this fic a secret in the SLIGHTEST but I might as well keep on the proverbial tiny little wrestling mask until next week. So come back then if you want to know more about how this fic came to be
> 
> EDIT: Yeah so I’ve been tinkering with this fic for over 2 years. I originally came up with the idea in August 2018 in discorinthe, and I’ve been thinking about it and drawing art of it and re explaining the premise a lot over that time. I created a google doc with the first draft of this version of the premise in May of this year, but never got beyond a rough chapter 1 with a lot of dot points until hei gave me an excuse to finish it.
> 
> (Also there are some meme and Arm Joe references as easter eggs in this fic, I hope someone finds them)

**Issue 326**

After Jean-le-Cric’s defeat by Bishop Bienvenu in the final match of Saturday night, the notorious heel was seen to break down crying in the ring. He remained there until the last of the audience had left. Have the Bishop’s renowned face-turn-inducing skills gotten through to him too? Well, only time will tell, but the ladies (and quite a few of the fellas) here at Le Lutteur hope he’ll still wrestle shirtless! 

**Issue 331**

A masked wrestler by the name of Madeleine has arrived in the ring! His face might be hidden, but when he popped his shirt open at the start of the match I’m sure all of our most faithful readers recognised his pecs. Specifically, the ink across them. The Bishop’s magic has taken hold after all, it seems. We have to say, the suit and tie and salt-and-pepper locks appeal to a very different demographic than the barely-there red shorts and unruly beard— but he’s still our favourite! Who’s to say what he’ll do next?

**Issue 337**

The angle of the decade seems to be taking shape! Madeleine fought a tag team match last night beside… Arm of the Law? With his sheriff’s badge and sunglasses, this man has been one of the most interesting characters of the scene for a while. Madeleine is still sporting the mask, but we all know that the Arm’s social-commentary-laden schtick of not believing in redemption transforms this terrific team-up into a ticking time bomb, and we are ALL IN!!!

**Issue 352**

There was a fascinating tension between Madeleine and Arm of the Law in last week’s match, something never seen before. Has the caped cop figured out his teammate’s true identity? Or did that look mean something else? 

_Top comment on the online version of this article_

**whocares416** : i for one ship it wholeheartedly

**Issue 368**

SHOWDOWN THIS WEEKEND: Jean-le-Cric vs Arm of the Law! Baton takes on candlestick in this unmissable confrontation! Ever since “Madeleine” officially unmasked himself, we’ve been raring for him to go up against his ersatz ally! He’s remaining a face, as evidenced by the self-sacrificing circumstances of his reveal, but we all know that doesn’t matter to the merciless leotard-clad legend!

**Issue 369**

**__** _Excerpt from “TOP 10 FEUDS WE NEED TO SEE”_

#1: Jean-le-Cric and Arm of the Law!!! The chemistry in their match last week was INCREDIBLE, as I’m sure you’ll all agree. Even though wrestling is often about morally simple showdowns— and those are great too, don’t get me wrong— complex situations like theirs are refreshing and honestly really engaging to watch! So, more of that? YES PLEASE. 

**Issue 374**

We all love to hate Sergeant Waterloo, the rising heel in town! He’s been around for a while, as older fans will remember, but he’s never been quite as important as this! He’s your standard chickenshit heel when you boil it down, but sets himself apart from the pack with his eminently rodentine vibe, as well as that trashy-opulence-meets-pirate aesthetic which works FAR better than it has any right to, both on him and his tag-teammate wife.

_Top comment on the online version of this article_

**jean11111** : ok but does anyone know what’s with that 1 audience member who just completely stans this guy?? like I’ve been to 5 of his fights so far and there’s always this same wide-eyed twink in the audience cheering when ppl are supposed to boo & getting weird looks from everyone else. either he’s a plant to somehow build the deep lore™ or he completely lacks story comprehension, no clue which

**Issue 385**

Our prayers have been answered— Arm of the Law and Jean-le-Cric are officially nemeses!!! The electric tension and chemistry hasn’t deflated in the slightest; we could watch these two duke it out for an eternity, honestly!

**Issue 396**

We were as shocked as you at the outcome of the Jean-le-Cric vs Arm of the Law fight last week, especially after all the “final decider” billing of the match— surely our beautiful boy couldn’t go back to jail after all that? But with the arrival of a masked wrestler going by Gardener this week, our fears were relieved. The weird little yellow tuxedo coat sure is a… choice, but we’re all eyes for his continued adventures!

**Issue 405**

I’m sure you were all yelling your lungs out Saturday night when the Sergeant Waterloo vs Gardener match turned into a tag team fight! Waterloo thought he could win by calling in his wife for an ambush— and though Gardener was holding his ground, he was clearly overwhelmed— but then just as it was at the worst, that girl who Waterloo used as bait in a cowardly gambit a few weeks ago showed up to aid our handsome hero! Now going by the moniker “The Iron Lark”, this young lady has been taken on by Gardener as his adopted-daughter-slash-protégée. Looking forward to seeing more of that team! 


	2. Main Event

**Issue 435**

After all these months of silence with the occasional unmomentous match, Gardener & Iron Lark finally face off with someone of significance — billed as yet another rando, but soon unmasked as our old enemy Waterloo! A 5v2 fight is just the sort of shit that guy would pull, but at the darkest hour Arm Of The Law burst in to turn the tide!!! The crowd went wild when his theme began to play (we hope the electric guitar remix stays; it is truly incredible)! 

Through various contrivances, he was distracted by Waterloo’s gang long enough for his old nemesis to abscond, but he put two and two together soon enough! I for one am absolutely HYPED for the revival of that dynamic!

_Comment thread on the online version of this article_

**windowgazer12** : The plot of the Waterloo stan thickens! I was sitting next to him for this one and he seemed torn between his usual deal and a crush on Iron Lark

 **Michel-Martin-1948** : Speaking of that kid … I had a good view of him last night too, and I;m showing my age here, but he looks a lot like a wrestler called I think Colonel something who retired 15 Years ago … don"t you think ? For those who are too young to remember … the colonel was tricked into thinking he owed a debt to waterloo … but then before that story ever paid off he retired to be with his family …

 **jean11111** : oh my god I found a clip of that guy and you’re absolutely right. how deep does the Paris wrestling lore GO??? i mean it would be entirely on brand for someone in this incredibly extra industry to hire a relative as a plant to pay off an old plotline but like, STILL

 **windowgazer12** : That sounds like a solid theory but I looked up the wrestler Michel was talking about and he died in a freak accident immediately after retiring. and the Waterloo stan looks, like, 19, so ?????

**Issue 441**

Last night, Jean-le-Cric lost the mask once more, and his feud with Arm of the Law has been rekindled at long last! Somehow the chemistry and tension has gotten even more intense over these months of separation! 

**Issue 452**

The real-life daughter of Sergeant Waterloo has joined the roster, choosing the moniker “Éponine l’Éclair” to match her lightning-themed aesthetic! Interestingly, she chooses not to associate with her parents at all.

**Issue 465**

Our favourite feud is escalating! The changing tone of their fights seems to indicate something big is coming up, but we’re not sure what… 

**Issue 474**

The lark has left the nest! For the first time, Iron Lark has teamed up with someone other than her mentor— curiously, it’s l’Éclair, the daughter of her former captors! 

**Issue 483**

Some of you might know that Wednesday marked the third anniversary of the night Jean-le-Cric broke down crying in the ring after the Bishop inspired him to change his ways. We bring this up because last night, this event was echoed, but with Jean on the other end! This is an incredibly interesting place to take this angle, and we can’t wait to see what happens next!!!

**Issue 505**

Folks, we normally don’t stoop to reporting on what the wrestlers do in their own time, but we’re making an exception today because it might shed some light on the unexplained disappearance of our favourite feuding pair— neither have been seen for months! We just received several emails from an anonymous source consisting of photos of Jean-le-Cric and Arm of the Law talking and holding hands in various public locations. If either of the pair happen to be reading our humble publication, you might want to tell this guy to knock it off— but for everyone else, well, draw your own conclusions.


	3. Conclusion

**Issue 513**

During Saturday’s Jean-le-Cric match, Arm of the Law showed up to help! But that’s not the interesting part— we all know about how they’ve been regularly saving each other’s skin ever since their unexplained returns last month. The interesting part is what happened after they won this one— Jean pulled his nemesis-turned-teammate into a kiss, and they declared their love for each other! 

Céline and Quentin, you both owe me €20.

_Top comment on the online version of this article_

**whocares416** : forget “if”, the real betting pool is “since when”

**Issue 520**

Jean & The Arm (that’s our name for them, no we don’t take constructive criticism) finally went up against the Waterloos in a proper couple-on-couple fight! While incredibly cathartic, the match was disrupted by a strange young man in the audience yelling something about Waterloo having helped his father. The audience member had to be removed by security.

_Comment thread on the online version of this article_

**jean11111** : so i’m friends with one of the security officers and she told me what the deal was with this dude. basically yeah he IS the son of that colonel guy… but he’s not a plant, he just unironically thought wrestling was real right up until last night. dude never got to know his dad properly so he just grew up on videos of him wrestling, and ended up forming a parasocial relationship to waterloo over the out-of-context clip where his dad is like “thanks i owe you everything”. long story short he knows it was acting now lol but yeah the story is way wilder than any of us expected, not sure if it’s sad or hilarious or both

**Issue 534**

**__** _Excerpt from “TOP 10 POWER COUPLES”_

#2: Éponine l’Éclair and Iron Lark! Their combat synergy can be compared to, well, metal conducting electricity; and their shared backstory elements elevate it to poetic. When they confirmed the nature of their relationship last month we were all happy for them. They’ve been fighting together for less time than most of the pairs on this list, but we’ve got a feeling this team is going to go far!

But, of course, none of them come even close to…

#1: Jean-le-Cric and Arm of the Law!!! Ah, our boys, they’ve come so far. From strangers, to teammates under false pretences, to nemeses, to relationship goals! They’re the reason we ran this article today— this week, on the anniversary of turning points in both their arcs, they announced that they would both be retiring from the ring to live out the rest of their lives together. We’re sad to see them go, but wish them all the best!


End file.
